Life in the 40’s is still quite new to me – I am still only 44 years old. I feel younger than the number as it is really only a number! At the same time, the past 23 years has flown by quickly. So what does the rest of my 40’s hold for me?
My youngest child, turned 21 years in June 2017 and the oldest is 23 years. It means I am not beholden to their future life quests and explorations. Being a parent has indeed been challenging, especially for some of their younger years. This was due to being a one parent family, though I had excellent support from my Parents and now Partner. Even now as they are both older I feel that I have failed, particularly when their actions are perhaps out of the ordinary. Sub consciously I will admit in beating myself up as I find I cannot comprehend some of their ways in their life, particularly “sheeple” habits (want to be part, not different).
The past two years have seen me selling up in the UK, move to another country, seeking work, learning a new language and generally fitting into another culture. I have also faced a health scare which led to hospitalisation and a recent incident of falling down 6 wooden steps and now suffering with severe back, hand and neck pain – hernias x 3. My previous work was a Cheese Shop Assistant, whilst I searched for work using my Marketing/Business Development skills. Officially I was signed off work by 3 Dr’s and this has turned seeking employment tough.
One forgets how demoralising it can be to apply for jobs you can do yet get turned down. Belgium is a country of Degrees and Masters. This is because education is much cheaper and accessible. Mastering a new language – Flemish / Dutch (advance warning – it is not an easy language to learn and the grammar is bonkers) has had it’s up’s n downs. The German language, mixed with Japanese wants to be spoken. I am making small steps.
I wish to work, yet having the pressure of having to work – my Partner and I need to live at the same time I do need to travel see my Parents and children still all involves having an income.
There is more to it than just being a Mum, a Partner or a successful business woman. So I am at the turning point that this is a new chapter in my life, what can I do? I would love to go to University to study, yet am unable to apply here in Belgium due to not having a full Diploma. As a female at my age, some are wishing to aspire to be a Senior Director of a Company, Manager or simply being happy running the home. Perhaps even a combination of both.
I would like to use the skills I am learning – setting up a brand of clothing or a food van. Okay, hear me out, two separate fields – food and fashion, at least they start with the letter “F”. I have experience in both these sectors so why not use these skills. I have ideas of what I would like to do, yet it is the limitations of the finances that hinder me taking the next step.
Being a Mum – what happens after when children have left the nest?
A Mum cannot be switched off. I still wish to be part of their lives and will always offer my open minded advice I give. Now is our time (Partner and I) and I wish to develop and be creative….